Relationship tip of the day: Robert Browning’s secret to a marriage that lasts: “Success in marriage is more than finding the right person: it is…”
Ever wondered why some couples grow stronger together decade after decade of being married, while others fizzle out? It’s not simply their luck or chemistry. Poet Robert Browning nailed it over a century ago with this wisdom: “Success in marriage is more than finding the right person: it is being the right person.“Think about it. We spend so much time swiping on apps, going on dates, and looking for “Mr or Miss Perfect”. But Robert Browning says it’s more important to be the right person, instead of looking for one. He reminds us that a thriving marriage isn’t a solo quest for Mr. or Mrs. Right. It’s being the perfect person, you wish your partner to be.
How “being the right person” can transform your relationship
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to point fingers at your partner when things go wrong in your relationship. But Browning’s words challenge us to look in the mirror first. Becoming the right person means cultivating qualities that nurture love: These include patience, kindness, forgiveness, and a willingness to grow together.Science backs this up, too. Relationship expert John Gottman, who studied thousands of couples, found that successful marriages aren’t about avoiding conflict. Instead, they’re about how partners repair it. Afterall, we are all humans, and we are bound to make mistakes. And so, the “right person” isn’t flawless; they’re committed to being better.
Practical ways to become the right person today
Ready to put Browning’s advice into action? Here are five simple, doable steps to start:1. Practice daily gratitude: Each evening, share three things you appreciate about your partner. It shifts your mindset from criticism to celebration.2. Own your growth: Read self-help books or try couples therapy – not as a last resort to save your marriage, but as maintenance.3. Practice active listening with your partner. If you have an argument, pause and repeat back what you heard instead of reacting. This helps prevent any miscommunication.4. Forgive freely (but wisely): Holding grudges poisons love. Let go of small stuff, but address patterns with honest talks.5. Keep the spark alive by planning fun dates together.Browning wasn’t just waxing poetic; he lived it. His marriage to Elizabeth Barrett Browning was legendary – two strong-willed artists who chose each other and chose to evolve together, eloping against her family’s wishes and thriving for 15 years.
The bottom line: Marriage is hard work
Finding the right person is magical, but being the right person is the real superpower. It turns “I do” into “We grow together”. If you’re single, use this as your mantra for dating. If married, share this article with your spouse- it’s a gentle nudge toward deeper love and lasting marriage.What’s one way you’ll “be the right person” this week? Share in the comments section below.
